A truely fictional tale by Dillon Dunbrae

IT ALL BEGAN when two men in blue overalls came to speak to my mother. I was upstairs in the attic of our tall and thin house, sitting by my window. I saw them coming up the garden path. I saw the tops of their heads. One of them had a bold patch the other wore a baseball cap. Silently I opened my window so I could listen.‘Hello madam. We were hoping we could talk to you today about the CSPS’ said the bold patch. I could not see my mother at this point, because she was still standing inside, but her face was almost certainly like a spoiled cabbage.‘The what.’ I heard her say. “The CSPS, madam,’ said the baseball cap.‘The what.’ said my mother.

‘The Child Surveillance and Protection Scheme, madam,” said the baseball cap.

At that point my mother stepped out onto the porch. ‘Whats it about?’said my mother. ‘It will be extremely benefical to your family,’ said the bold patch. ‘We are happy to explain everything to you in just a moment. But first could you please ask your son to shut his window?’

 

First came the creaky floorboards, put all around the house. They blend in perfectly with the rest. Light brown pine with dark nots. If you so much as brush a toe against one, a great groan let’s out like a hungry bear. I cannot leave my room without my parents hearing. I cannot go anywhere without them knowing.

 

Second came the keys and the locks. The fridge, the freezer, the wardrobes, the draws, the cabinets, the front door, the back door and the door to every room in the house got padlocks put on them. If I want to go anywhere or do anything I have to go to my father’s study and knock on his door. He then unlocks it, lets me in, and I tell him what I want. He then uses a small silver key to unlock a long and shalow yellow box containing all 47 keys then he gives me the key that I need.I then use the key and return it imediately after use. I find this all to be rather inpractical.

 

Third came the camras and the mikerophones. I was not supposed to know about them but one afternoon I unlocked the shutters to my window and noticed a dark circle hidden in the wood. A tiny black eye. The next evening when I called my friend Malcolm on the old fancy phone in the hall, I noticed a small piece of grey stuck near the mouthpiece. A small grey ear.
‘I’m sorry I haven’t called for ages. Phones cause canser, so I’m only allowed to use it once a week,’ I explained.‘Same here,’ Malcolm said sadly.‘I don’t like it,’ I said.

‘Me neither’ said Malcolm.‘Malcolm?’ I said.‘Yes?’ said Malcom.‘I think they’re listening,’ I said.

 

It was only when I began covering the camras with my colectible racing car stickers that the men from the CSPS came to speak to me directly. They sat me down on the living room sofa and sat on the armchairs opposite. The baseball cap man took off his baseball cap and I saw he also was bold but I will still call him the baseball cap man or it will get confusing. The baseball cap man and the bold patch man spoke calmly with faces blank as paper.

 

“Hello Dillon. We’re sorry to sit you down like this, but it’s really quite important.” Said the baseball cap.“We understand that you have tampred with CSPS equipment. We are afraid we cannot allow this to continue.” Said the bold patch.“Perhaps if we explain to you the reasoning behind the sceem, you may realise that we have your best interests at heart,” Said the baseball cap.The bold patch then took in a deep breathe, and said quickly “The world is a dangerous place. Especially for children. Children are clumsy, slippry, half-formed creatures that are hell-bent on hurting themselves. If there is a puddle on the ground, they will slip on it and fall. If there is a bycycle, they will ride it until they crash into something or fall over. If there is a football, they will play with it until it someone kicks it into their face. And these are just the things that can happen by accident. What about the murderers and kidnappers? If a child met a murderer they would show them a picture they drew of a cactus on the moon. If a child met a kidnapper they would be thrilled at the opportuneity to ride in the back of a van without a seatbelt. Survey and protect. That is the only solution.” Then I sai

 

Then I realised the error of my ways it was all for my safety and I lived happily ever after. The End.